Dumb Ass No More

That is what my wife told me. “Stop saying ‘Dumb Ass’!”

Apparently I use that word frequently. Someone pulls out in front of me on the highway, “Dumb Ass!”. Someone posts something really, really stupid on Facebook, Twitter or Instacrap and I am frantically searching for the “Dumb Ass” icon to click on. Sadly, despite me suggesting it several times, no such button exists to date.

Basically, whenever someone says, does or implies something that I think is as stupid as possible, I yell, “Dumb Ass!”.

This being 2022, I have an abundance of opportunity to scream those two words. My wife has grown tired of it, and has ordered me to stop it.

So, I am in search of a new word or phrase. These are the contenders:

  • Dog Farter!
  • Shit Faced Moron!
  • Barf Butt!
  • Jerk Ass!
  • Stupid Ass. Sorry, that was quickly cancelled by my wife as too close to “Dumb Ass.”
  • Dork Butt
  • Idiot!
  • Jack Ass!

So far, “Dog Farter” is leading the pack. I tried it twice today driving to Breakfast. It felt right.

If anyone has suggestions, leave them in the comments please.

I’ll keep you informed.

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