Mortgage Life Insurance

A married couple in their thirties are buying their first house together. They are offered mutual mortgage life insurance polices.

Wife: “What’s this?”

Husband:  “Oh it’s nothing really, we pay a small monthly fee and if one of us dies for whatever reason then the mortgage gets paid off in full. It’s quite a common policy.”

Wife:  “So if I die you get the house mortgage free?”

Husband: “Yes, and of course vice versa, if I die you get the house mortgage free.”

Wife: “So, if I die, you get the house. and then what, would you re-marry?”

Husband:  “Well that’s very hypothetical question, but I’m still a young man so I guess so. I would expect you to do the same if I should pass first.”

Wife: “Would you move your new bride into our house?”

Husband: “Hmm…it would be fully paid off, and it’s a very nice house, so that would seem sensible.”

Wife (through gritted teeth): “Would you and your new bride sleep in our marital bed?”

Husband: “Honey,  it is an orthopedic mattress and you know I have a bad back, so yes definitely.”

Wife (now getting visibly angry): “Would you let her drive my car?”

Husband: “Well I suppose so, we just bought it.”

Wife (now absolutely furious) :”And I suppose you would also let her use my new golf clubs?”

Husband: “Certainly not! She’s left handed!”

The funeral is Thursday.