A married couple in their thirties are buying their first house together. They are offered mutual mortgage life insurance polices.
Wife: “What’s this?”
Husband: “Oh it’s nothing really, we pay a small monthly fee and if one of us dies for whatever reason then the mortgage gets paid off in full. It’s quite a common policy.”
Wife: “So if I die you get the house mortgage free?”
Husband: “Yes, and of course vice versa, if I die you get the house mortgage free.”
Wife: “So, if I die, you get the house. and then what, would you re-marry?”
Husband: “Well that’s very hypothetical question, but I’m still a young man so I guess so. I would expect you to do the same if I should pass first.”
Wife: “Would you move your new bride into our house?”
Husband: “Hmm…it would be fully paid off, and it’s a very nice house, so that would seem sensible.”
Wife (through gritted teeth): “Would you and your new bride sleep in our marital bed?”
Husband: “Honey, it is an orthopedic mattress and you know I have a bad back, so yes definitely.”
Wife (now getting visibly angry): “Would you let her drive my car?”
Husband: “Well I suppose so, we just bought it.”
Wife (now absolutely furious) :”And I suppose you would also let her use my new golf clubs?”
Husband: “Certainly not! She’s left handed!”
The funeral is Thursday.