Bring me my red shirt!

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, a proud English captain and his crew sailed the seas and were often in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship.

One day while they were sailing through the blue Caribbean sea, the first mate ran to the captain to report that a pirate ship was approaching with the intention of boarding their ship. The Captain was calm and steadfast, shouting for the first mate to bring him his red shirt right away.

The First Mate quickly got the Captain’s red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the pirates. A fierce battle ensured with much sword play and some casualties, but the pirates were defeated.

The next day the lookout screams down from the lookout tower that there were two pirate vessels approaching with boarding ships already in the water. The crew was nervous, but the Captain,  calm as ever, bellowed to the First Mate, “Bring me my red shirt!” And once again the battle was on! 

The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred.

Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that foggy night recounting the most recent battles when an old sailor looked at the Captain and asked, “Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before each battle?”

The Captain, giving the sailor a look that only a seasoned captain can give, explained, “If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid.” The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man.

As dawn came the next morning, the lookout called down in a panic, saying that during the foggy evening five pirate ships had encircled them and were about to attack.

The men became silent and all looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command.

The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, ‘Bring me my brown pants!!!’