While always a thing, paying the tab for the person behind you at a fast food/coffee drive through has become a bigger thing during these turbulent times. When non-believers do it it is nice, as they are thinking of others and trying to inject some love into the world. I guess. When I do it, as a Christian, it is more complicated. My automatic thinking tells me I am honoring God and giving to others. Maybe sharing the love of our Creator. As I paid the $9.42 bill for the person behind me at Dunkin’ Donuts drive through yesterday, I felt good, despite the bill being more than I expected. As I drove out of the drive through lane I felt proud of myself, happy that I was doing God’s will. Until my deeper thinking process asked me if the person in that large new car really needed this help? What about the people who can’t afford to even go to a fast food place? What about the people who didn’t own a car? Who was I really helping? Shouldn’t I go ride through the poor section of town passing out donuts and coffee for free? What the hell was I actually doing?
A voice in my head, and there are many, told me I was just making myself feel proud and good while paying someone’s bill who was clearly capable of paying it themselves. So, was this a selfist thing? I wanted to feel good about myself in the least interactive way possible? Sort of drive by tithing? Also, if we give won’t God bless us? Man, this was turning out to be more sin laden than good.
Another voice tells me it is about not being attached to money. Being willing to give up some money even if it has nothing to do with God. I guess I could have pushed the ten dollar bill through my shredder for the same affect?
I always look in my rear view mirror at the vehicle in line behind me at drive-through establishments. I don’t pay the bill for people driving expensive cars. Or people with 19 kids in the back. Ideally I want a single person driving an old beat up car ordering something for five bucks or less. Is that judging? Is that truly giving?
After pondering these thoughts inside my noggin for some time, I think for me it is to make me feel like a good Christian. Which isn’t what a good Christian should be doing.
Once in a while I get someone paying for my drive-through tab. It really surprises me, and I do feel happy and my faith in mankind creeps up a notch. I wonder how the people I give to react?
I think I will continue to do this, just to spread some little joy. If I can cheer up a person even for a moment, then that is good.
But I won’t consider this a Christian giving thing. I need to increase my donations to the food bank, church and other places where people truly need some help.
Yeah, I think too much sometimes.