Meditation is supposed to be really good to achieve a peaceful mind and center your soul. I have friends who swear by it. I had my first directed meditation session recently at the gym I am attending. Did not work out well.
I enjoyed it, and did the breathing and arm stretching as directed. The person doing the directing helped us to imagine a beautiful beach and then a nice boat where we casually drifted to a small tropical island with white sandy beaches.The lighting in the room was muted, pleasant meditating music was playing, and her voice was at the perfect tone and pitch.
The problem is my mind. There is a five ring circus in there, along with a NASCAR race and rabbits. Yellow rabbits. With hats. A thousand thoughts and images are swirling about in there, every day, all the time. I’ve learned to hide it very well. Some people over the years thought I was just very observant, others thought I was bored and others thought I was easily distracted. One person at a university meeting diagnosed me as possible ADHD. I’m not sure if that is the case. I can fake concentration well. My career was very successful.
But I could not fake meditation. Sure, I was along for the ride, the boat trip, the beach, sunshine, forests. But everything else was going on inside my head at the same time. Songs were swirling about, a 1950’s Japanese monster movie was playing, and I kept wandering off to different parts of the island that the meditation leader had not described. But I faked it well. Afterward, everyone was commenting on the experience, thanking the instructor, and they all felt relaxed. I thanked her too. But since I had not commented on the experience she asked me about it. Inhaling deeply, I told her that it was nice, comfortable and that she did an excellent job. She asked me how I felt and did the meditation create a calm moment.
That’s when I told her about the gigantic 30 foot tall box of elbow macaroni that plopped down on the white sandy beach. True story, it really did. She stared at me as other participants chuckled. She closed up shop and we all left.