Don’t be Stupid in Idaho

(C) 2020 Dart Humeston

Idaho is a tough place. Period. And Idahoans like it that way, dammit!Common things you might hear a native Idahoan say:

  • We don’t need no stinkin’ guard rails! Californians just need to learn how to drive!
  • Residential zoning laws? Hell no! This is freaking America! If I want to park my old truck up on blocks on my front lawn then who’s business is that!?
  • If you are gonna be stupid, you better be tough.
  • If you are dumb enough to get lost in the snow, mountains or desert, don’t expect us to rescue your ass!
  • These are real signs that I have photographed in and about the Boise area.

Yep. Don’t be stupid in Idaho.

It is common for people to get lost, either dead or alive. Cars go off the road into a frozen river, hikers get lost in a snowstorm, bikers take a wrong turn, or children go missing in the largest Albertsons grocery store on Planet Earth. The authorities will make a decent effort to find you. Or your body. Just don’t get yourself in trouble during winter. The standard policy here is to give it a good look for a few days and then just wait for Spring to find the body.

Again, I am comparing this to Florida, where if someone goes missing in the Everglades or at sea, the authorities will look for them a whole lot longer. Weeks even.

Let’s face it, it is a lot tougher here. Someone goes missing for a few days in Florida they usually turn up at Jimmy Buffett’s Margaritaville restaurant on the beach in Hollywood Florida, or even more likely, they are just stuck in traffic. In Idaho, you go missing for one days there is a 99% chance you are dead. So, what’s the rush?

The authorities in Idaho don’t have big budgets either. A couple of days looking with some trained volunteers is about all they can afford. Florida is so wealthy they don’t even have a state income tax. They can fly helicopters, and search jets all over the skies for a week. Same with air boats in the Everglades or boats at sea.

More evidence that Idaho is a tougher place. A thirty minute ride into the desert SE of Boise the military is practicing blowing things up. Seriously. They have a full blown battle field out there, with fake wooden tanks and super secret laser crap. But do they fence off the entire area and keep you out? They would in Florida. But Idaho? Hell no, just keep your eyes open and be ready to dodge the bombs or lasers!

Yep, that is Idaho. Land of personal freedom and personal responsibility.

Don’t be stupid in Idaho.